Being involved with toxic narcissists is draining and difficult. These people exploit others, lack empathy and are constantly looking for admiration. Do you know a colleague, family member, or friend who can be so toxic it makes you feel tired and dread the next conversation?
They may work to manipulate situations, make you feel small, or leave you in the land of the question marks so that they can continue getting high on their perceived greatness. They can really affect your mind and emotions, and you need to find ways to shield yourself. Knowing what they do and how you should deal with it is essential. Read on into these 11 strategies on how to outlast narcissists.
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Set Clear Boundaries
An effective method of keeping yourself safe from the wrath of a toxic narcissist is to put up firm boundaries. If you have a narcissist in your life part of what perpetuates their behavior is that they are very good at pushing the limit – trying to figure out just how much they can get away with.
So it is important to clarify what you will tolerate from others and where you draw the line. For instance, it might mean fewer calls or turning down certain conversations. Boundaries are how to maintain rigid controls over your life and reduce the number of hooks a narcissist has into you.
Don’t Get Into Power Struggles
Narcissists thrive on drama and will frequently attempt to engage you in power struggles. It only fuels their desire for domination and praise when you play this battlefield with them. Just don’t let them get under your skin or play with your emotions. Keep your peace and do not give into what they want to see from you.
Do Not Take Their Behavior Personally
A toxic narcissist is someone who says and does things that hurt other people without caring how it will make the person feel. What they say or do is a result of their issues & not an indictment of who you are. Their criticisms will not define you, nor their manipulations. By not taking their negativity personally, your self worth is protected.
Limit Your Exposure
Often times, the best way to manage a maliciously narcissistic person — is to try to stay away from them as much as possible. When you can, spend less time around them or just quit hanging out altogether. This may be harder to do if this person is a family member or co-worker, but distance and disconnection could help you return to your emotional center.
Focus on Self-Care
Narcissists are emotionally draining, so self-care is more important than ever. Spend time on things that rejuvenate you like being around positive friends, doing enjoyable hobbies or simply taking a breath. When you practice self-care, you are better equipped to manage the trials that often arise when a toxic narcissist is living in your world.
Seek Support from Others
The benefits of a powerful support system are immeasurable when managing a toxic narcissist. Consult your friends, family or talk to a therapist to guide you and provide an emotional backbone. Speaking to anyone who can relate might make you feel less alone and give you a sounding board for how to handle things. Receiving validation from others can also further support the boundaries you have set and reassure you that this person is a problematic individual.
Practice Emotional Detachment
Emotionally detaching stops toxic behavior from hurting your feelings. This is especially useful when they begin to trigger you. Keep practicing to remain calm & neutral, irrespective of how difficult they are. This distance ensures that you stay in control of your own emotions and they do not control you.
Communicate Assertively
Assertively expressing yourself is key when dealing with a narcissist. When you communicate your wants and limitations, make sure that they are specific, without aggression or confrontation. Narcissists will often dominate the conversation or use your words against you, so it is important to hold your ground and not allow them to hijack the conversation. You should also use assertive communication where you express your points clearly, make eye contact and reflect how you feel using “I” statements.
Don’t Try to Change Them
One of the greatest mistakes we can make when dealing with a narcissist is to try and change who they are. Stop worrying about trying to make them different – focus on how you react to them. Changing your perspective leads to a reduction in stress and can allow you to better cope with the situation.
Know When to Walk Away
Sometimes, the only way to effectively deal with a toxic narcissist is to leave and establish no contact. Realize when the relationship is becoming toxic and allow yourself to move on. Leaving is not a weakness, it st a choice to preserve your sanity and well-being.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.