As parents, we all want to teach our kids the things we’ve learned over the years – so that they can be successful & happy living their lives. I have done this too – not realizing some advice doesn’t apply to the world that my kids are living in now. Life evolves & so do the rules. Here are 11 antiquated beliefs you might want to reconsider before passing them down to your grown-up children.
Featured Image Credit: AndrewLozovyi /Depositphotos.com.
“You Need to Own a Home to Be Successful”
Homeownership had been considered the ultimate symbol of security & prosperity for decades. But house-buying for many young adults isn’t as easy or fun as it once was. Renting or alternative forms of accommodation are more realistic – due to high housing costs & economic concerns.
“You Must Go to College to Have a Good Career”
College is helpful, but it is no longer the only road to success. The world has trade schools, online learning & business opportunities. Pushing a four-year college could ignore your child’s strengths or interests. Set them up with routes that are interesting for them — whether it’s coding boot camps, art, sports, social media or crafts.
“Cling to One Job”
The model of picking one career & sticking with it for decades is passé. Work today is dynamic and careers are frequently changed. – Your child can try out new fields or pursue different side hustles. By encouraging their adaptability, you can show them that you believe them when they make choices & let them take chances with no fear of failure.
“Marriage Should Be Your Top Priority”
Marriage once was a marker of adulthood. But, for the modern-day youth, relationships are only one aspect of life. They might prefer to prioritize a career, travel or start a business.
“Talking About Mental Health Is Weak”
Talking about mental health was taboo for generations, but that’s not so anymore. Going to therapy or being able to admit to problems is strong, not weak. If your child talks about their mental health, listen to them empathetically & validate their feelings. If we are there for them, it provides them with the emotional space to blossom.
“Always Follow Authority Without Question”
Respect is valuable but blind obedience can cripple your child. We live in an age of reasoning & criticizing unjust systems. To be able to advocate for yourself or others at work & in society is a life skill. And let them know you value the fact that they take the initiative to question things & demand changes.
“Your Partner Should Be the Same Religion or Culture”
Commonalities are important, I agree. But teach your child that bonds are built on respect, trust & communication. The world is bigger now and more intertwined than ever before — there are regular interfaith or intercultural connections happening everywhere. Pay attention to whether or not their partner is nice to them & brings them happiness, not to their culture or religion.
“Keep Your Problems to Yourself”
You don’t want your child to feel pressured into putting on a heroic appearance even when they’re not. Help them know they can ask for help when they need it, and that asking for help helps build bonds and perseverance.
“You Gotta Struggle at Any Job”
It isn’t a strength to remain in a toxic, unmotivating job. It is a different workplace now, where the people care about well-being over self-serving allegiance. If your child leaves an abusive employer, help them leave because it’s the right thing for them to do.
“Success Means Working Nonstop”
This mindset of hustle culture – in which you work all day – is dated. Burnout is real & you need to find the middle way to be happy.
“You Can’t Be Friends with Your Kids”
Parenting grown children means transforming the relationship dynamic. Being a good friend to your child based on respect & understanding doesn’t make you a lesser parent. Instead, it strengthens your bond. You listen to them, treat them like they are equals & it’s a relationship they’ll treasure for the rest of their lives.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.