Hey there! Remember the days when you desperately need to laugh so you can kick stress to the curb and boost your mood? Well, I’ve got you covered. These stories are short stories made to make you giggle and even snort loudly (no judgement here!) Pour yourself a coffee and settle in while we explore some hilarious stories together.
Featured Image Credit: Pexels.
The Perfect Crime
A thief enters a house and hears someone say, “Jesus is watching you.”
The thief is startled by this voice. He looks around and sees a parrot.
Then, he asks, “Who said that?”
The parrot replies, “I did. My name’s Moses.”
The thief laughs and asks, “Who would choose to name a parrot Moses?”
The parrot says, “The same kind who name their Rottweiler Jesus.”
The Library Whisperer
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, “Can I have a burger and fries?”
The librarian scowls at him & says, “Sir, this is a library.”
The man nods, leans in, & whispers, “Oh, sorry. Can I have a burger and fries?”
The Talking Dog
A man sees a sign in front of a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
He knocks, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The man meets the dog.
“Can you talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” says the dog. “I used to work for the CIA. I’d sit in meetings, eavesdrop, and report back. Got a lot of medals, retired young.”
Amazed, the man asks the owner, “Why are you selling him?”
The owner replies, “He’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that.”
The Bear and the Bar
A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’d like a gin…and tonic.”
The bartender asks “Why the big pause?”
The bear looks down and says -“I was born with them.”
The Invisible Man
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I think I’m invisible!”
The doctor looks around the room and says, “Sorry, I can’t see you right now.”
The Detective Dog
A policeman stops a car with a dog in the driver’s seat. He asks -“License and registration?”
The man in the passenger seat says, “Don’t blame me! I told him to stop when he didn’t have his license.”
The Genie’s Twist
A person discovers a genie who grants him three wishes.
The man requests a large mansion from the genie.
Poof! He gets the mansion.
The man requests a billion dollars for his second wish.
Poof! He’s rich.
The man declares his final wish to become irresistible to women.
Poof! He turns into a credit card.
The Smartest Man in the World
A plane is crashing, and there are only three parachutes for four people: the pilot, a scientist, a backpacker, and a priest.
The pilot grabs a parachute. “I’ve got a family!” he says, jumping out.
The scientist grabs another. “I’m the smartest man alive. The world needs me!”
The priest turns to the backpacker. “I’ve lived a long life. You take the last one.”
The backpacker shrugs. “Don’t worry, Father. The smartest man alive just jumped out with my backpack.”
The Forgetful Husband
A husband is in a store and calls his wife. “Where’s the sugar?” he asks.
“On aisle six,” she replies.
A minute later, he calls back, “Which one is aisle six?”
The Hiring Test
A boss interviews three candidates by asking, “What’s 2 + 2?”
The first answers, “Four.”
The second says, “Four, but I’d verify.”
The third leans in and whispers, “What do you want it to be?”
The third gets the job.
The Slow Learner
A snail goes into a car dealership and buys a sports car. He tells the dealer, “Paint a big ‘S’ on it.”
The dealer asks why.
“So when I drive by, people can say, ‘Look at that S-car-go!’”
The Forgotten Password
A man calls tech support. “My password doesn’t work,” he complains.
The agent asks, “What’s the password?”
“It’s ‘MickeyMinniePlutoHueyDeweyLouieDonaldGoofySacramento.’”
“Why so long?” the agent asks.
“I was told it had to be at least eight characters and include a capital!”
The Mischievous Cat
A cat owner walks into a room and sees her cat with a dog’s leash in its mouth.
“Where’s the dog?” she asks.
The cat smirks, “Walking itself. I finally trained it right.”
The Farmer and the Pig
During a farm visit, a man observes a pig with a wooden leg.
“Why does the pig have a wooden leg?” he asks the farmer.
The farmer explains that the pig rescued him from a burning house.
“Wow, that’s amazing! Did the pig lose his leg while saving your life?
The farmer responds by shaking his head and saying, “No, but you can’t eat a pig like that all at once!”
The Preacher’s Horse
A preacher sells a horse to a man. The preacher explains that saying “Praise the Lord” makes the horse move and “Amen” stops it.
When the man shouts “Praise the Lord!” the horse begins to gallop.
The man sees a cliff ahead, so he screams “Amen!”
As soon as the man shouts “Amen,” the horse screeches to a stop – barely avoiding the cliff edge.
The man wipes his forehead and softly says “Praise the Lord.”
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.