Sometimes we do things that drive people away, even when we are unaware of it. People speak, handle disagreements and act differently when stressed. Such actions tend to put a barrier between us and our loved ones. We often assume other people are the issue, but ignore that the problem may originate from our end.
This list will highlight the habits and actions that may push others away. Once you learn these behaviors, you can start creating better and stronger relationships.
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Being Critical All The Time
If every little thing you do wrong is the first thing another person points out, it is so discouraging. Imagine how demoralizing it feels to perfect something and present it only for another person to point out every little mistake you made. It is hugely discouraging. So, if you are like that with other people, try taking a minute to offer some words of encouragement instead.
Not Being A Good Listener
Have you ever been in a conversation where you can tell that the other person is just waiting to talk while you are speaking? They have no reaction to your comment and start talking as soon as you stop. It’s really irritating, isn’t it?
When we make an effort to listen, it shows that we have an actual interest in what whoever is speaking has to say. This makes them feel heard and valued.
Always Complaining
Complainers are a real buzzkill. If every conversation you have feels like a bummer, it makes it super difficult to get pumped about spending some quality time with you. Why would anyone want to be around someone who brings them down and sucks the energy out of their life? Looking at the brighter side of things, even during tough times, helps in improving your relationships.
Being Self-Centered
It is easy to get lost in our own narrative, however, that may prevent us from learning from others. If every chat becomes a diatribe about how busy and important our life has become, we can inadvertently send the message that others don’t matter. Each person has their own experiences and their feelings that should be heard. Aim to get out of your head and foster better connections by asking questions and being genuinely interested in others.
Inconsistency
If one person has constant mood swings, they can throw off the balance in a relationship. They can be happy one minute and then aloof or irritable the next. This can make friends or family members unsure of how to act around them. Relationships need stability and people need to know what to expect from one another. Consistency in word and deed is an important component of securing trust and comfort in relationships.
Judgmental Attitude
We build a wall when we judge others swiftly. It is hurtful when we condemn others’ choices without understanding them first. Everyone’s journey is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Rather than assuming the worst, pausing before commenting can lead to deeper conversations. A little bit of kindness and a sense of acceptance can create a wonderful bond.
Lack of Empathy
When people open up about their setbacks, they want some sympathy back. It can be isolating and lonely if you are indifferent, dismiss their feelings, or show no empathy. A small reassurance such as “I am in your corner” can mean the world.
Not Respecting Boundaries
It can be a terrible experience if someone invades personal space or demands more than we are prepared to share. When we honor boundaries, it demonstrates that we care about the feelings and needs of the other person. Open dialog will help to understand what works and feels okay. If we honor each others’ limits, it becomes a safe place for forming true connections.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.